Or Is THIS The True Story of Jesus Christ?!

Well Hung Tiger

Guess we know which half of him is black now, huh? Apparently, the bottom half...

Mindy Lawton, a 34-year-old waitress, claims to have had a year-long affair with Tiger Woods filled with regular sex in a range of locations. The Daily Mail writes that the pair met in the summer of 2006 at a diner where Lawton worked.

According to Lawton, Woods is quite the lover. He is "very well endowed" and "knows his way around the bedroom. On a scale of ten I would give him 12," she tells News of the World. Lawton's sister, Lynn, adds that Mindy described their sex as "extremely good."

Woods was fond of sleeping with her in numerous locations -- from parking lots to the shower to the garage -- but the golfer refused to have sex in his bedroom.

Lawton also says that Woods has a particular passion for the color red, which he is known to wear on Sundays at golf tournaments. But according to Lawton, that isn't the only place he enjoys the color:

"His favourite [underwear] were my red panties with black lace. He had a thing about red and said he always wore it on Friday as that was his mother's favourite colour."

Both articles also reference Woods' penchant for sending steamy text messages. One claimed he was "dreaming of being inside of her," according to Lynn Lawton. This claim would fit with the alleged text messages he sent another purported mistress, Jaimee Grubbs.

Sometimes Getting Lost Is The Best Part Of The Trip

"Solitude brought out the worst in me. It gave me time to brood over the nature of things. I wondered how some people could be such a necessary part of one's life one day, and simply vanish the next. Isn't it supposed to last? We ran into each other at graduation. We had lunch about a year after that. It was nice to see them, but it wasn't like the old days. My college experience wasn't what I had planned. It bore no resemblance to the pictures in the brochure. But I'm not unhappy; I don't think any of us are. We got what we needed out of it. It's kind of like going on a vacation - you plan everything out but one day you make a wrong turn or take a detour, and you end up in some crazy place you can never find on the map, doing something you never thought you'd do. Maybe you feel a little lost while it's happening. But, later, you realize it was the best part of the whole trip."

This is from the movie "Threesome" (1994). I just really like this monologue at the end.

When I'm King Of The World...It'll Run Like This

Politically Incorrect Santa

TURN OFF YOUR TV

speaks for itself..

You've Got To Get MAD!!

whenever i'm feeling frustrated at what i see around me or on the news, i watch this...

Sarah and Ch'yarlee

I couldn't resist.

Sarah Palin - In Her Own Words

For the record, I like Sarah Palin.

Dog in Heat: A Love Letter from Method Man, Rapper

Song: Dog In Heat
Songstress: Missy Elliott Feat. Method Man


"Yo, yo...

Beware of the dogs, off the chain

Fuck your whips at the club we piss in the parkin lanes

Blow it up ten frames so you see it wide

If your broad ain't fuckin she don't need to ride

She can crawl in the trunk with her knees inside

By the spare, she hungry I'll feed her fries

Cause i'ma, dog nigga, shot-call nigga

My shotgun talk with a lecture hall scripture

Applaud ahh bitch, shake that ass

I getcha, drunk and high and duct tape that ass fast"

(Scott: OKAY, HERE COMES MY FAAAVORITE PART...)

"Then leave you on your daddy front lawn

With your hair all fucked up, with one pump on

(Scott: didja get that image?! daddy front lawn..hair all fucked up with one pump on...)

Get stomped on, I take the money and run

I'm a dog, shit I fuck right in front of your son

If you ain't got missy and meth

Want me to spit the hot shit for you? nigga, write your check..."

Now folks, if this doesn't say love and respect to all you ladies out there, I don't know what does.

Creating God in one's own image

Creating God in one's own image

Monopoly - FINAL

I found this great piece of audio, but didn't think that many people would be enticed to listen to it without some sort of visual aid. So, I pulled together my video editing skills (humbly stated) and, voila!

There's a message here that's worth listening to...to me, at least. I want to share and ask for your thoughts and feedback.

-Me

Picky Eaters Post

Complaint Box | Picky Eaters
By SUSAN GOLDBERG
P.C. Vey

Having friends over for dinner used to involve a minimal and fairly unremarkable to-do list: There were groceries to buy, along with flowers and a couple of bottles of semi-respectable wine. I would put out some guest towels and a collection of fancy soaps that were off limits to blood relatives, and then — voilà! — dinner was served. Preparing for a dinner party these days is far more complex, thanks to a vast and bewildering array of dietary needs that seem to have suddenly overtaken everyone I know.
Complaint Box Steamed?

Dish out the peeves. Send your essays — no more than 500 words, please — to: metropolitan@nytimes.com.

An unscientific survey of family and friends turns up one acquaintance who is kosher, two who are more like kosher-style, in addition to two vegans, a smattering of lacto-vegetarians and a couple who cannot digest gluten of any kind. Accommodations must be made for my mother-in-law, who is lactose intolerant, and a friend who is dangerously and inconveniently allergic to peanuts. I must know at least a dozen women who have declared lifelong war on complex carbohydrates. And then there’s my daughter, a wispy and tender-hearted flower child who prefers not to eat “anything with a face” (although she will sometimes make random and completely unreasonable exceptions for hot dogs and pepperoni).

Just thinking about feeding this crowd makes me want to lie down in a darkened room for several uninterrupted hours. The head chef at Beth Israel Medical Center would be hard-pressed to meet the dietary needs of this particular group.

Being a hostess also requires me to navigate the tricky political ramifications of dinner, which means keeping the menu free of veal, foie gras and a host of endangered sea creatures. There are, I have found, an astonishing number people who are breezily neutral on the subject of Kim Jong-il, but consider an entree of Chilean sea bass the moral equivalent of grand-scale marine genocide.

Because of these restrictions, having a simple dinner with the people I love now requires a nutritionist, an Excel spreadsheet and considerably more patience and culinary skill than I possess.

The very last straw was a friend who called before her family came for dinner and — without a hint of shame — presented me with a detailed list of their food requirements: Her husband doesn’t care for shrimp, her son requires a pasta side dish with every meal, and none of them eat the dark meat of chicken, which she dismissed savagely as “dreck.”

I have had enough with people who want to have it their way, and I am done catering to the quirks of food-obsessed numskulls. If you eat in my home, I will grudgingly respect medically diagnosed allergies, since it puts a pall on conversation when a guest goes into anaphylactic shock at the dinner table. But beyond that, I expect you to eat what you can, ignore the rest and not make trouble. On Thursday, 15 people are sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner at my house, and with God as my witness, I promise you this: There will be dark meat.

Susan Goldberg is a freelance writer and editor and a consultant on college admission essays who lives in Mount Kisco, N.Y.

Video Just For Fun

Jon Stewart Schools on "News"

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
For Fox Sake!
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Where's Luke?

Back In The Box

Can't Think Of Better Way To Spend $400 Million Dollars

why this headline is next to headlines about SCHOOL CLOSINGS, TEACHER CUTS, LIBRARY CLOSINGS, UNEMPLOYMENT, STARVING PEOPLE, CRUMBLING ROADS, SICK PEOPLE WITH NO MONEY, etc, etc, etc. is BEYOND ME! Something is REALLY, REALLY WRONG....$400 Million dollars well spent

George Carlin on God and Religion

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!

George Carlin on God and Religion

are calculators ever wrong?

Are calculators ever wrong? Do they ever have a bad day and, say, nah...2+2=5 today? :-\

Presidential Bling

Barack "Bling Bling" Obama: Pimpmaster-In-Chief!! LOVE THIS!! Go Barry!

Making Sense Common Again

INVITATION: Gen Xers and beyond...won't you join me in my daily quest to "MAKE SENSE COMMON AGAIN?!" Thank you in advance for all you do and WILL do! Love to all!! XOXO

UPDATE!! Two Doors Better Than One Rant!!!

i was driving home from harrisburgh sunday night and i saw THIS on a door...maybe remember a bit ago my rant about having one door locked . this doesn't SOLVE the problem, but sure does help! thanks gas station owner!

TOTALLY random

Bill Hemmer: neither a bill nor a hemmer..tawlk amongst ya'selves...

Commander-In-ChiaF

(click here) literally one minute of your time...if it's not worth it, send me nasty emails...LOVE THIS!

do NOT adjust your eyes or political party...this is NOT a spoof...I repeat, this IS NOT a spoof...

Bully Gets Surprised

DESIGNERS --> THINK BIG!!

THE VENUS PROJECT - GOOD STUFF

Two Doors Are Better Than One

This one FIRES ME UP..(see photo for scene set-up) I used to feel silly and be kinda embarassed when I faceplanted INTO a door because one side would be LOCKED. People would giggle or compassionate ones would give me the "oh, are you okay?"... But EVERY TIME, store owners would do or say nothing. Why the f^%& would you have two doors if you're not gonna use 'em? And they give ME "that look"..for what..for pushing on a door that says "PUSH" on it?! Now, I just look back and laugh, yeah, I know who the REAL(ly) dumb one is...

Bullshit

To summarize: I applied for an Assistant Ideal Services Manager position at, we’ll say Hotel 101, back in July. I spent almost two hours filling out the paperwork, signing every release imaginable. Then, I went for an interview and met with 5 different managers - including GM. Two months later (!) got called back to meet with another manager, Food & Beverage Mgr. I've been doing this kind of work since I was 15, so I'm familiar with how all this goes. I wrote the thank-you cards (to EACH one, individually), followed up with supporting documents, resume addendum, phone calls and other inquiries --as requested. There finally came a point where, for the first time ever, I felt embarrassed to actually ask again the status of the position, as it had been so long and I had followed up so many times.

So, today, you can see the final response below (perhaps to better understand, read below first). I understand that a hotel is in the business of providing services to guests and being hospitable, not in hiring people. But courtesy is pretty important to me and the lack of (in my view) coupled with a few other red flags I won't go into led me to decide (yesterday) that I wouldn't take the job had it been offered to me anyway.

But I can't help but to wonder... I sure wish I knew what it is - in my old age - that's not cuttin' it. Used to be, there was NEVER an interview, deal or fill-in-the-blank I couldn't score. Now, I find myself sitting across the table from blank stares (lack of sleep? zoning-out? husband/wife problems? financial woes? Xanax?!) , leaving people --what SEEMS to be -- more baffled than before I met them.

I've tried every other LOGICAL and RATIONAL approach, but none seems to answer or even lend itself to explaining the phenomenon. So, I'm left, for now, to wonder if there is something about my energy aura or my DNA frequency that isn't meshing well with professional public.
Maybe the cosmic juices in my fifth house of the rising Aries on the third quarter of the waxing moon just, well...

I know PART (perhaps a big part) of the reason I get the nails-down-a-chalkboard reaction when dealing with professionals is that I see through bullshit. I have a degree in political science and work on elections and campaigns -- I do bullshit for a living. I can see it, smell it, produce it (quite well when necessary, too, I might add) and, worse of all for "them", I can spot it a mile (or kilometer, just to be culturally sensitive) away. I'm not saying that everyone's a bullshitter, but the world DOES run -- in large part -- on bullshit. "Can I help you with anything today, sir?" Bullshit. "Your call is very important to us, please stay on the line.." Bullshit. "Just $29.99 a month! Read the bullshit fine print. "Elect Meeeee & I'll get you outta Iraq, Gitmo, lower unemployment, fix financial chaos and bring healthcare reform" Got a dumptruck? "Forgive me father, for I have sinned...ask and ye shall receive...why are things so miserable if.." Eternal bullshit. Swine flu, "terrorism", G-20, Green Job hype, Global Warming (Climate Change?!), fashion, oil/gas/petrol, babies killed by stray bullets while sleeping on couch, "justice" system, jails, cigarettes, extra large coffee (aka Venti or Grande Supremo), illegal drugs, red tape, bureaucrats, bombs, landmines, crumbling bridges and roads, planned obsolescence, treatment of veterans, poor people, hunger -- wait, stop RIGHT NOW and take a look around you...see all the "stuff"...now think, THERE ARE PEOPLE, A LOT OF FUCKING PEOPLE, STARVING TO DEATH AS I TYPE, HUNGRY FUCKING PEOPLE...people DYING from lack of food while others die because there's too much of it - whew, taxes, patents, lawsuits, tanning beds, pharmaceutical commercials, Miss Cleo, The Fed, Republican, Democrat, charging a fee to pay your bill over the phone, buses that come late..or not at all, parking tickets, paying for stuff that should be free (water, walks on beach and other things readily available in nature) and, FINALLY...male bovine excrement, all BULLSHIT.

My point? Maybe, JUST MAYBE...the system at least operates -- however poorly, unequally and inefficiently -- and that's what matters. Changing it would, well, require change. Expensive change. Uncomfortable change. Disruptive change. Much of the change that I would support would be fairer practices, equaler (never mind Webster, for effect) treatment of people and MOST OF ALL = efficiency. Things, as I see them, today are fucked up. At least if we're gonna have to so much "stuff," have it make sense * (for just one example, see below) ! Here, again, is where I get bucked by "the system." Having some stuff run inefficiently, it's argued, creates or preserves jobs - jobs thought to be unnecessary** given today's technology.

How about "the system" preserves, maintains and perpetuates the current wealth/power/political system?! Do oil companies own alternative energy patents and are hindering alternative or even FREE energy? Electric cars?! Do telecommunications giants own phone, bandwidth and wireless patents? Do drug companies own life-saving technology that would either cure or allow folk to get OFF the drugs they make money on? Is the proposed “healthcare reform” bill a Pharma-Government Complex, much like the military-industrial complex? If you were a baker, would you hold classes to teach everyone to bake? If you were a mechanic, would you show someone how to pull out the dipstick (i know, i know..) from under the hood of their car or charge them $59.99 for a "service checkup cause you have a mortgage payment to make"?

I guess that's why I'm not a businessperson or have a lot of money. My way of life and of doing things would cause an awfully big raucous to "the powers that be" - from the Fed Chairman to your local baker to that fucked-up meter maid who started writing my ticket as I was 15 feet from my car then said she HAD TO finish because she started and the tickets are in chronological order and every one needs to be accounted for. So I guess it's no wonder then why I find myself and my views not fitting in with those of the rich, powerful, big-wigs, "shot-callers", ticket writers or other charlatans.

Until then, I'll continue to keep one hand in bullshit and use the other to wipe it off (better go man-hug than hand-shake next time you greet me then). And I'll keep using cliche's like if you can't beat 'em, join 'em and keep your friends close and your enemies closer when people ask me why I do what I do, although what I really want to do is launch into the aforeasserted (I did indeed mention, but asserted more, hence my new word).

By the way, I'm happy doing work at my non-profit, campaigning on weekends and serving up Chinese food...just won't get a lot of money doing it.

On that note, have a great day everyone!

Always,

-Scott

* (example from above): think of cell phones that break and/or lose signals in "dead zones," but we just recently lost contact with a rocket/explorer almost 8 BILLION miles away, so NASA claims. Okay, maybe one more for effect: why not make the WHOLE PLANE out of the stuff they make the black box from? Oh come on, you’ve heard that one before!

** (from above) Wanna know the world's MOST UNNECESSARY JOB?! Casualty Assistance Calls Officer - That guy who is sent to soldier's wife/family & delivers the news that destroys (yet more) lives. Dead soldiers are unnecessary.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mr. Hiring Man
Date: Tue, Oct 6, 2009 at 8:37 AM
Subject: RE: Hotel 101 Update
To: David Scott Greer

Good Morning David,
Yes, we went with another candidate. Good luck with everything and I will keep your resume for future opportunities.

Mr. Hiring Man


________________________________________
From: dscottgreer@gmail.com [mailto:dscottgreer@gmail.com] On Behalf Of David Scott Greer
Sent: Monday, October 05, 2009 10:01 AM
To: Mr. Hiring Man
Subject: Re: Hotel 101
Good Morning, Mr. Hiring Man -

Has a decision been made yet?

Thanks,

-David "Scott" Greer
484-702-2111

On Fri, Sep 18, 2009 at 2:26 PM, Mr. Hiring Man> wrote:
Hi David

I just wanted to let you know that we will be making our decision the week of September 28th regarding the Asst. Ideal Service Manager position.
I do apologize for the longer than normal process, however we are extremely busy with G-20 summit preparations.
Please let me know if you have any questions or if you have found another position. Thank you.

Mr. Hiring Man
Human Resources Manager
Hotel 101

Brand and Label Whores

"Stuff" to me in life is like a metaphorical blind taste test - if i like it, i like it..i don't care what LABEL is on it or what #$&%in BRAND NAME props it up. The hypocrisy, to me, that "artists" will value shit from a certain name/brand while putting down something else as "cheap" because a credit card isn't needed to buy it makes me laugh. In the eye of the beholder, eh? So long as it is Versace, Tiffany or Kris-taaal. Pfwww..

Pictures of an Upset Jesus on Bathroom Walls Near Urinal

You gonna like this one...I'm standing at the urinal at work (same one I go to every time) and..WTF...there is a FINGERPRINT on the wall in front of me that looks like Jesus crying!! I'm like, damn, people get famous for this shit, so I pull out my cell and am trying to get it on a pic (not easy, shiny Jesus face on a tile under light)and then - someone walks in. Yeah, try explaining THAT one! :-\

...and while i'm on my politic soapbox...

what about Ariel Sharon (pronounced Shuh-rOWN, אריאל שרון)?! Remember THAT guy?! In a "coma" (Terri Schiavo - pronounced ʃaɪvoʊ - style) for, what, 6 years now?! Hmmm...ok.

We Should Be Alarmed...

...if not downright outraged.

OUTLAWING BEING A GOOD NEIGHBOR

Mom warned tending friends' kids is illegal
Sunday, October 04, 2009
By James Prichard, The Associated Press

IRVING TOWNSHIP, Mich. -- Each day before the school bus came to pick up the neighborhood's children, Lisa Snyder did a favor for three of her fellow moms, welcoming their children into her home for about an hour before they left for school.

Regulators who oversee child care, however, don't see it as charity. Days after the start of the new school year, Ms. Snyder, 35, received a letter from the Michigan Department of Human Services warning her that if she continued, she'd be violating a law aimed at the operators of unlicensed day care centers.

"I was freaked out. I was blown away," she said. "I got on the phone immediately, called my husband, then I called all the girls" -- that is, the mothers whose kids she watches -- "every one of them."

Ms. Snyder said she started watching the other children this school year to help her friends; they often baby-sit for each other during evenings and weekends.

Ms. Snyder's predicament has led to a debate in Michigan about whether a law that says no one may care for unrelated children in their home for more than four weeks each calendar year unless they are licensed day-care providers needs to be changed. It also has irked parents who say they depend on such friendly offers to help them balance work and family.

Agency Director Ismael Ahmed said Tuesday that good neighbors should be allowed to help each other ensure their children are safe. Gov. Jennifer Granholm instructed Mr. Ahmed to work with the state Legislature to change the law, he said.

"Being a good neighbor means helping your neighbors who are in need," Mr. Ahmed said in a written statement. "This could be as simple as providing a cup of sugar, monitoring their house while they're on vacation or making sure their children are safe while they wait for the school bus."

Ms. Snyder learned that the agency was responding to a neighbor's complaint. Granholm spokeswoman Liz Boyd said the agency was following standard procedure in its response. "But we feel this [law] really gets in the way of common sense," she said.

"We want to protect kids, but the law needs to be reasonable," Ms. Boyd said. "When the governor learned of this, she acted quickly and called the director personally to ask him to intervene."

State Rep. Brian Calley, R-Portland, said he was working to draft legislation that would exempt situations like Ms. Snyder's from coverage under Michigan's current day care regulations. The bill will make it clear that people who aren't in business as day care providers don't need to be licensed, Mr. Calley said. "These are just kids that wait for the bus every morning," he said. "This is not a day care."

Copyright 2009 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Read more: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09277/1002622-84.stm?cmpid=news.xml#ixzz0T4izjFEq

Another IRONIC one....

Ode to Alanis - "Isn't it IRONIC?!"

I've seen this freaking plane flying around Pittsburgh since I got here...only on the weekends. I can't help but think how IRONIC this is...FIIIIINALLY today I happened to have my camera handy and with a little editing I think my point is clear.

Whatever Happened to Rod Blagojevich's TRIAL?!

WTF ever happened to the "overwhelming evidence" against Rod Blagojevich?! I thought prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald had SO much against the now-impeached Governor that he asked a judge to extend his deadline to APRIL 2009. It's Oct and nuttin'. Blago's no angel - just look at him - but something STINKS there... Let's hear the tapes, leak the transcripts...SOMETHING. it's HIGHLY unusual that NOTHING has leaked out of this case whatsoever. curious to see how this is gonna play out..or if everyone will just FORGET that this guy NEVER had a trial and was NEVER found guilty of any wrongdoing...yet.

Harris Campaign, cont'd

Cover Story Jenesis Magazine

! * ! Harris For Mayor Campaign Coverage ! * !

Changing HIS-Story, Copywright to God's Word and Give or Take a Couple Million Years

I've said it before, lemme state it again -- I'm aware that I have a hang-up with past (and present) "educators" NOT throwing in the disclaimer that what they teach is "true in most cases" or "generally speaking" or that there are "some or many exceptions" to the rules and so-called absolutes they profess. But seriously, instead of teaching "history", why not explain it as "timeline work in progress" or something like that. Well, it's been a long time since I've been in school...maybe they do now. But I know when IIIIIII was in school, things were pretty much carved in stone (so-to-speak): took tests & quizzes with ?s like "what year did the egyptians ____?" or "Columbus DISCOVERED America in _____" as if somebody WAS THERE to witness this. When they discover a new pyramid or obelisk, should they say, "Oh, by the way, can you push the date back about 30,000 years in that timeline I just made you kids fill out?"?! Nevermind that it may interfere or overlap some other part of HIS-story that doesn't reconcile. Or maybe it does NOT fit in well, so they (whoever THEY are) just decide to leave that part out or push it to the side.


I know, I know..it's kinda petty, but IF IIIIIIII RULED THE WORLD, I would tell people straight up -- this is how it looks NOW...subject to change pending scientific advances, political agendas, updating the bible, biases of those who write history books, etc.

Okay, now that THAT'S outta the way...

Give or Take 10 Million Years
Updating Bible
Someone Holds Copywright to Word of GOD?!

I'm just sayin....


davidscottgreer@gmail.com

Beyonce & Infectious Jingles - An Interactive Question, Your Input Requested!

There is a marketing genius that resides within, occasionally hitting one outta the park. Beyonce's "Single Ladies" is SO infectous that I can already hear it on a product commercial jingle (freecreditreport.com-esque)..what I can't QUITE nail down yet is what product would work best - gimme your thoughts! "If you like it then you shoulda put ____ on it"

** Ok, I'll start - "If you like it then you shoulda put Wishbone (salad dressing) on it..." see, doesn't quite feel right, does it? But you get the picture

--> Gotta be two syllables... Feelin sexy? "If you like it then you shoulda put KY on it..." Uh huh...now you're catchin my drift

--> What kind of product would you put on something if you liked it? Hmmm.... I like my couch so, if I like it "I shoulda put ScotchGuard on it.." nah, that's lame...

Apologies To 50 (Pronounced "Fitty") Cent

(with apologies to Fitty Cent) Go...go...go...go...go ME-E, it's my burfday...gonna go to wURk like it's my burfday..gonna come home AFter like it's my burfday, gonna do some LAUNdry like it's my burfday, gonna eat some DINner like it's my burfday, gonna go to bed ERRly like it's my burfday, gonna be a GREAT DAY...why? It's my burfday.

Biblical Fighter Jets & Airplanes?! Part 2 - Photos

Biblical Fighter Jets & Airplanes?!

Folks, I saw this walking down the street on Sunday and had to take a shot...here I thought airplanes and spacecraft were a thing of OUR civilization!

Real Life Twilight Zone?! <-- True Story

I have ONLY shared this story with less-than-a-handful of people, but what the heck…

July 2nd 2009: Me and roommate, Zack, depart Seattle, WA in his Toyota Corolla toward our destination of Greensboro, NC.

We are in the thick of the sticks, nearing time zone change -- from Pacific to Mountain –near Idaho & Montana. The roads are squiggled through mountains and, at night, very VERY dark and eery. In fact, I mentioned while driving, “feels like we’re in some sorta twilight zone here, huh?!”

A look at our map and google map printout showed that everything was peachy and we were right on time toward our travel goals. At one point, before it got really dark, we stopped at this gas station at the bottom of a big mountain. We asked the cashier for any advice or suggestions as we went ahead. She gave us VERY accurate time/distance landmarks (about 7 minutes ahead you’ll pass a McDonald’s…21 minutes later you’ll change time, 32 miles after that you’ll find..). Sure enough, Mickey D’s after 7 mins, then at the time change – MY phone went two hours ahead, Zack’s didn’t move. Few minutes later, my phone goes back two hours…Zack’s phone now is at the “right” time, after adding an hour. Then, after about a half hour, MY phone finally goes “right” and syncs to his. When we reached 32 miles after the landmark the cashier lady mentioned, we pulled over to indulge in some civilization – gas, potty, stretch, snack.

Here’s the mindf#@k part: when we looked again to check the time, we were THREE HOURS behind our scheduled time! What?! I got out a map…looked at our phones…looked at clocks all around us…asked directions…sure e-freaking-nuff, somehow we lost THREE HOURS. We had to call and cancel hotel reservations we’d made at the city we were SUPPOSED to be at and, NOT TO THIS DAY, have ever figured out what the hell happened. Before it’s suggested – no drugs, no hallucinogens, etc.

Something funky happened in the mountains of Montana. Anybody got any suggestions, comments or similar stories that may help make heads or tails of this one?

Run Shadyside

Amish Romance and other Pennsylvania Dutch Naughtiness

Close your eyes, Mr. & Mrs. Stoltzfus...just read an article about booming Amish romance novel industry. We all know about the cocaine dealing network years back, so...what OTHER aberrant Amish behaviors? Amish vibrators? Secret Afro-Amish-American babies? Gay and Lesbian Amish?! Bestiality Amish..well....

Babies Named Mohammed

Pooing: wonder by time i finish how many boys named "mohammed" will be born in europe and middle east? or girls named "maria" in hispanic speaking countries...or girls named "emily" here in the u.s.? just wondering...

Self-fulfilling Oxymoron

We say to those who feel sorry for themselves, are pessimistic, beat themselves up and THINK THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT to beware of "self fulfilling prophecy"...well isn't that an oxymoron?! If they feel they can't do anything right, then they certainly can't fulfill their own miserable destiny, right?! Apparently my prophetic moments and ephianies come in the shower...

mo money

they say money is created out of "thin air"....i'll bet there's no mint in the Amazon then....you know....because the....air...is, uh.....pretty thick there...just sayin'.

UPDATE!! walking to the bank: you know where ELSE money can't be created?! wherever justin timberlake is rockin' your body..just take a look at the lyrics:

Don't be so quick to walk away
Dance with me
I wanna rock your body
Please stay
Dance with me
You don't have to admit you wanna play
Dance with me
Just let me rock you
Till the break of day
Dance with me

Got time, but I don't mind
Just wanna rock you girl
I'll have whatever you have
Come on, just give it a whirl
See I've been watching you
I like the way you move
So go ahead, girl, just do
That ass shaking thing you do

So you grab your girls
And you grab a couple more
And you all come meet me
In the middle of the floor
SAID THE AIR IS THICK, it's smelling right
So you pass to the left and you sail to the right

Don't be so quick to walk away
Dance with me
I wanna rock your body
Please stay
Dance with me
You don't have to admit you wanna play
Dance with me
Just let me rock you
Till the break of day
Dance with me

I don't mean no harm
Just wanna rock you girl
Make a move, but be calm
Let's go, let's give it a whirl
See it appears to me
You like the way I move
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do
Pull you close and share my groove

So you grab your girls
And you grab a couple more
And you all come meet me
In the middle of the floor
SAID THE AIR IS THICK, it's smelling right
So you pass to the left and you sail to the right

Don't be so quick to walk away
Dance with me
I wanna rock your body
Please stay
Dance with me
You don't have to admit you wanna play
Dance with me
Just let me rock you
Till the break of day
Dance with me

Talk to me boy
No disrespect, I don't mean no harm
Talk to me boy
I can't wait to have you in my arms
Talk to me boy
Hurry up cause you're taking too long
Talk to me boy
Better have you naked by the end of this song

So what did you come for
I came to dance with you
And you know that you don't want to hit the floor
I came to romance with you
You're searching for love forever more
It's time to take a chance
If love is here on the floor, girl

Hey
Dance with me
Yea
Come on baby

Don't be so quick to walk away
(Don't walk away)
(Come on and)
Dance with me
I wanna rock your body
(Let me rock your body)
Please stay
(Come on and)
Dance with me
You don't have to admit you wanna play
(You don't have to admit you wanna play, just)
Dance with me
Just let me rock you
(Do do do do)
Till the break of day
(Come on and)
Dance with me

Talk to me boy
No disrespect, I don't mean no harm
Talk to me boy
But I can't wait to have you in my arms
Talk to me boy
Hurry up cause you're taking too long
Talk to me boy
Better have you naked by the end of this song

Don't be so quick to walk away
(Just think of me and you)
Don't be so quick to walk away
(We could do something)
Don't be so quick to walk away
(I like the way you look right now)
Don't be so quick to walk away
(Come over here baby)

Are you feeling me?
Let's do something
Let's make a bet
Cause I, gotta have you naked by the end of this song