Biblical Fighter Jets & Airplanes?! Part 2 - Photos

Biblical Fighter Jets & Airplanes?!

Folks, I saw this walking down the street on Sunday and had to take a shot...here I thought airplanes and spacecraft were a thing of OUR civilization!

Real Life Twilight Zone?! <-- True Story

I have ONLY shared this story with less-than-a-handful of people, but what the heck…

July 2nd 2009: Me and roommate, Zack, depart Seattle, WA in his Toyota Corolla toward our destination of Greensboro, NC.

We are in the thick of the sticks, nearing time zone change -- from Pacific to Mountain –near Idaho & Montana. The roads are squiggled through mountains and, at night, very VERY dark and eery. In fact, I mentioned while driving, “feels like we’re in some sorta twilight zone here, huh?!”

A look at our map and google map printout showed that everything was peachy and we were right on time toward our travel goals. At one point, before it got really dark, we stopped at this gas station at the bottom of a big mountain. We asked the cashier for any advice or suggestions as we went ahead. She gave us VERY accurate time/distance landmarks (about 7 minutes ahead you’ll pass a McDonald’s…21 minutes later you’ll change time, 32 miles after that you’ll find..). Sure enough, Mickey D’s after 7 mins, then at the time change – MY phone went two hours ahead, Zack’s didn’t move. Few minutes later, my phone goes back two hours…Zack’s phone now is at the “right” time, after adding an hour. Then, after about a half hour, MY phone finally goes “right” and syncs to his. When we reached 32 miles after the landmark the cashier lady mentioned, we pulled over to indulge in some civilization – gas, potty, stretch, snack.

Here’s the mindf#@k part: when we looked again to check the time, we were THREE HOURS behind our scheduled time! What?! I got out a map…looked at our phones…looked at clocks all around us…asked directions…sure e-freaking-nuff, somehow we lost THREE HOURS. We had to call and cancel hotel reservations we’d made at the city we were SUPPOSED to be at and, NOT TO THIS DAY, have ever figured out what the hell happened. Before it’s suggested – no drugs, no hallucinogens, etc.

Something funky happened in the mountains of Montana. Anybody got any suggestions, comments or similar stories that may help make heads or tails of this one?

Run Shadyside

Amish Romance and other Pennsylvania Dutch Naughtiness

Close your eyes, Mr. & Mrs. Stoltzfus...just read an article about booming Amish romance novel industry. We all know about the cocaine dealing network years back, so...what OTHER aberrant Amish behaviors? Amish vibrators? Secret Afro-Amish-American babies? Gay and Lesbian Amish?! Bestiality Amish..well....

Babies Named Mohammed

Pooing: wonder by time i finish how many boys named "mohammed" will be born in europe and middle east? or girls named "maria" in hispanic speaking countries...or girls named "emily" here in the u.s.? just wondering...

Self-fulfilling Oxymoron

We say to those who feel sorry for themselves, are pessimistic, beat themselves up and THINK THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT to beware of "self fulfilling prophecy"...well isn't that an oxymoron?! If they feel they can't do anything right, then they certainly can't fulfill their own miserable destiny, right?! Apparently my prophetic moments and ephianies come in the shower...

mo money

they say money is created out of "thin air"....i'll bet there's no mint in the Amazon then....you know....because the....air...is, uh.....pretty thick there...just sayin'.

UPDATE!! walking to the bank: you know where ELSE money can't be created?! wherever justin timberlake is rockin' your body..just take a look at the lyrics:

Don't be so quick to walk away
Dance with me
I wanna rock your body
Please stay
Dance with me
You don't have to admit you wanna play
Dance with me
Just let me rock you
Till the break of day
Dance with me

Got time, but I don't mind
Just wanna rock you girl
I'll have whatever you have
Come on, just give it a whirl
See I've been watching you
I like the way you move
So go ahead, girl, just do
That ass shaking thing you do

So you grab your girls
And you grab a couple more
And you all come meet me
In the middle of the floor
SAID THE AIR IS THICK, it's smelling right
So you pass to the left and you sail to the right

Don't be so quick to walk away
Dance with me
I wanna rock your body
Please stay
Dance with me
You don't have to admit you wanna play
Dance with me
Just let me rock you
Till the break of day
Dance with me

I don't mean no harm
Just wanna rock you girl
Make a move, but be calm
Let's go, let's give it a whirl
See it appears to me
You like the way I move
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do
Pull you close and share my groove

So you grab your girls
And you grab a couple more
And you all come meet me
In the middle of the floor
SAID THE AIR IS THICK, it's smelling right
So you pass to the left and you sail to the right

Don't be so quick to walk away
Dance with me
I wanna rock your body
Please stay
Dance with me
You don't have to admit you wanna play
Dance with me
Just let me rock you
Till the break of day
Dance with me

Talk to me boy
No disrespect, I don't mean no harm
Talk to me boy
I can't wait to have you in my arms
Talk to me boy
Hurry up cause you're taking too long
Talk to me boy
Better have you naked by the end of this song

So what did you come for
I came to dance with you
And you know that you don't want to hit the floor
I came to romance with you
You're searching for love forever more
It's time to take a chance
If love is here on the floor, girl

Hey
Dance with me
Yea
Come on baby

Don't be so quick to walk away
(Don't walk away)
(Come on and)
Dance with me
I wanna rock your body
(Let me rock your body)
Please stay
(Come on and)
Dance with me
You don't have to admit you wanna play
(You don't have to admit you wanna play, just)
Dance with me
Just let me rock you
(Do do do do)
Till the break of day
(Come on and)
Dance with me

Talk to me boy
No disrespect, I don't mean no harm
Talk to me boy
But I can't wait to have you in my arms
Talk to me boy
Hurry up cause you're taking too long
Talk to me boy
Better have you naked by the end of this song

Don't be so quick to walk away
(Just think of me and you)
Don't be so quick to walk away
(We could do something)
Don't be so quick to walk away
(I like the way you look right now)
Don't be so quick to walk away
(Come over here baby)

Are you feeling me?
Let's do something
Let's make a bet
Cause I, gotta have you naked by the end of this song

where the f#@& is bon jovi going?!

getting out of shower: listening to Bon Jovi, "Whoooaaa...we're half way THEY're (sp wrong, it's for effect)..." I'm wondering, now after all these years, where would they be if they were ALL the way there? What is at the end of the OTHER half? Odd thing is, I REALLY DO think about this stuff...not just some schtick. 8-|

global warming vs. labor day & end of summer

if the world is so warm and there's so much more global warmness in the changing climate globally and....well, how come we still shut down the beaches and pools on labor day?! Maybe we should keep 'em open longer b/c it's so gosh darne...d warm so gosh darned longer...gosh darnit. anybody else for pushing the date to extend summer?!?! :-)

Witness Protection Program or ProgSHAM?

Witness Protection Program: in return for helping out gov't cases, you are given a new life, new identity, etc...BUT are forbidden to have contact with anyone (family, friends, etc) ever again. Do you REALLY think the gov't sends you off to a new life? Or do they just send you off.... Considering we have no contact, I guess we just don't know, huh? QUESTION: Would YOU participate?

thoughts while pooing: i'll be honest, when this whole social networking/blogging thing exploded I was skeptical. i thought, wait a minute..who the heck wants to read about mundane things in each others' life? who the heck is interested in MY thoughts about MY day in MY life?! what credibility do i -- and others who write and share opinions online -- have that would, first, ATTRACT readers and, second, RETAIN them and, at best, finally, ENTERTAIN them?! My thoughts and theories spiraled out in many directions from this notion and its implications.

then, while pooing, i was thinking of how utterly predictable, homogenized, thoughtless, irrelevant and, in my never-humble opinion, downright misleading and insulting MEDIA and NEWS and CURRENT EVENTS are today. Perhaps it's because a large majority of consumable MEDIA is controlled by a very few sources (and all that's implied there) that there seems to be a steady stream of, really, information that is useless to our everyday lives. sharp looking men and women with columbia university journalism degrees telling me that i need to inject a foreign substance in my body - aka swine flu "vaccine" - or else face fear of being quarantined should i sneeze one too many times doesn't hold much credibility when the following "news" segment features those same empty suits reporting to me what color underwear paris hilton wore last night. "news" in the form of interviews, clips, segments, etc. are delivered to us in 90 second to 3 minute bits - at best - and still leave us asking questions or wondering, so what?

that's where, in my "revelation", blogs and social networking tools come in. this is a medium that REAL PEOPLE need and want: REAL SPEAK, REAL TALK ABOUT REAL PEOPLE DOING REAL THINGS THAT MATTER TO THEM...IN (ALMOST-)REAL TIME. someone bitching about their neighbor's dog barking now holds more value to me than, say, the stock market of japan. suzie's kid lost her first tooth makes me smile, not reading how many people were blown apart in iraq. 30 second clips about an anonymous rape victim reinforces what i already know - don't walk home alone at night or go home with strangers. I'm generalizing here, because "news" generalizes, social networking sites and blogs don't (generally speaking, of course).

anybody with me on this one? news may be EXCITING now because of the money and time spent on appealing to our emotional and sensory marketing targets. but news is certainly NOT fulfilling as fulfilling as ADDRESSING our emotional and sensory cravings like we do when interacting - albeit online - with individuals.

vacuum cords, cell phones, laptops and other expensive, "disposable" goodies

before 8am: every time i wrap my vacuum cord i do it in a different way/direction/shape. if someone sees me they usually laugh and poke fun. but, if not, inevitably the cord starts to fracture and fray. then i mention this term and most think i'm a conspi...racy nut or paranoid. what do YOU think?! can i get an amen from any house moms (and you, jonathan! :^) ) out there?!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planned_obsolescence

snip snip here, snip snip there and a couple of brand new...

...words. Verses? Stories? Bibles?!
REALLY early, 12:30am: So, we CAN change the Bible, huh? Instead of offending religious folk outright, let me ask this: Is this OK with you? To me, this has slippery slope written ALL OVER IT; change few words here or there, leave out couple verses o...r books that don't fit in with the times and, well, you have...?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32644719/ns/us_news-faith/

closing tiiiiime

....every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

flexible face, wrinkles, stretching and keeping in and out of shape

gym today, 11:14am: i'm in the corner stretching on this fantastic apparatus that looks like a spider web and lets you easily stretch alllll kinds of body parts. But I'm stretching -- I LOVE STRETCHING, btw -- and thinking, "this feels good and is good FOR me too..stretching muscles is good for us, right?" ...keeps elasticity healthy and we ALL know how important it is for us to be elastic. 8-|

Then, as usual, here comes the exception: face muscles. if we stretch our face muscles we get what we call "wrinkles"...and that's NOT a good thing - at least in the eyes of a superficial, "looks" society. so that brings me to my thought(s): do our inner muscles have wrinkles too?

--> is stretching overrated, in terms of how "healthy" it keeps us and how good it is for us? stretching = wrinkles and wrinkles = bad, ugly

--> OR are wrinkles actually GOOD and healthy for us, we just don't VIEW it as such because this societal no-no says its ugly? wrinkles = ugly BUT wrinkles = healthy (because stretched and flexible)

so then i went on to a more philosophical leap: if we assume that stretching muscles is GOOD for us and keeps us healthy, then those folk with wrinkles would indicate that they have exercised their facial muscles quite a bit in their life. Leaping even more, one could draw from this observation that a person with a lot of wrinkles has experienced a lot of emotion in their life - laughter, grimaces, crying, squinting. all of these emotions mentioned implications to them: laughter = had a fun life; grimace = pain or distaste; crying = not necessarily sad, emotional, compassionate; squinting = maybe couldn't afford glasses, works in the sun, deep thinker even. on the flip side, those with little or no wrinkles, are they cold, shallow, inexpressive people? or can they just afford expensive creams and/or surgeries to LOOK that way?

my question: are wrinkles hereditary or strictly inherited? or do they tell a story about that person that may not be evident at face (pun intended) value?

or do i have this all wrong? (or did i make myself clear? i know what i want to say, this is my first and only draft...usually come back to it a few hours later to see if it still makes sense, but i'm tired and heading to bed. if i can clarify, lemme know)

11 am: I overhear "...he went APESHIT!" Me: picturing in my head someone going apeshit...no ape....no shit. Tawlk amongst ya'selves....

Urban dictionary:
1. ape shit - Really going crazy or nuts over or about something.
Dan is going ape shit about how cool his new car is. Or - Dan went ape shit when he found out his wife left him.

ass on a platter

Mid afternoon yesterday: along the same lines as a previous post, somebody wanna take a stab at the etymology of this one? ~~> "We got our asses handed to us on a platter!" Really? ....REALLY?! As odd as it may sound, I think I'd like to witness that...

blind leading...their own life, apparently

This morning: Attn blind fol & those who know them: if you see a visually impaired person tapping and bumping into things and you are either walking along with or near them, do you offer to help? I would THINK so..but I have been barked at and ju...st SAW someone get barked at b/c this person was INSULTED..."I CAN DO IT MYSELF!" GRRRR.... Geez, thrice bitten now don't know WHAT the hell to do. Any takers on this one?

Backward Red Light

@ crosswalk: the yellow light signifies when a light is about to turn red. why not have a red light where...when the light is going from red to green, the yellow light illuminates WITH the red light signifying it's about to turn green... and then the green light illuminates while the red and yellow lights are now extinguished. gives new functionality to the yellow light: instead of only signifying a red light is about to come, it can now signify a green light allowing vehicles approaching to avoid slowing down and braking unnecessarily saving gas and brake pads.

Uh oh...somebody's knocking at my door violently. representatives from midas are here with men in black...HEEEELLLLLP!!! :)